Why do I keep having lapses in my recovery, even when i don’t want to?

Lapses are a frustrating and ever-present risk individuals face on the road to recovery. Even those with the strongest intentions and dedication to sobriety can encounter stuck points—underlying core issues that make maintaining recovery more challenging. These moments of difficulty can lead to feelings of confusion, discouragement, and wondering where things went wrong.

Addiction recovery is complex, and lapses should be seen as opportunities to explore deeper, unresolved issues rather than failures. By understanding the core reasons behind these stuck points, you can gain valuable insights into why lapses occur and learn how to address them to move forward in your recovery.

What Does it Mean to Lapse?

A lapse occurs when a person temporarily deviates from their goal of abstaining from alcohol or other substances, but quickly returns to their commitment to sobriety. For example, a person might have a drink at a party despite intending to stay sober, but resumes their recovery efforts the next day.

Lapses often reflect deeper, unresolved emotional or psychological stuck points. Unlike a relapse, which involves a prolonged return to previous use levels, a lapse is a brief setback—often driven by unaddressed issues beneath the surface.

Why Do Lapses Happen?

Lapses are rarely random events. Instead, they are often linked to underlying stuck points—areas in a person's life where they feel emotionally blocked or unable to resolve core issues. These can be deeply rooted in personal history, unprocessed trauma, unresolved conflict, or chronic stress. Whether it’s a lack of coping skills, unhealthy thinking patterns, or difficulty managing intense emotions, these stuck points can push individuals toward their old habits when not properly addressed.

Common Causes of Lapse

Emotional stuck points:

Feelings of shame, guilt, or unworthiness can make people believe they are destined to fail. These emotions often stem from unresolved trauma, abandonment issues, or deeply ingrained negative self-beliefs.

Unresolved core issues: Many individuals in recovery have unresolved pain from the past, whether from childhood, failed relationships, or traumatic events. These unaddressed issues can resurface as stuck points, making sobriety harder to maintain.

Inability to navigate stress: For many, the core issue might be an inability to cope with stress. This may include financial hardship, problems at work, or relationship difficulties. Without new, healthier coping mechanisms, old habits can resurface.

Triggers from past environments: Being in environments associated with past substance use—whether people, places, or events—can create emotional stuck points that make it harder to resist the temptation.

Addressing Core Issues to Avoid Lapse

Recognizing and addressing your core issues can prevent lapses and promote long-term recovery. Here are some strategies for tackling stuck points:

• Identify your emotional triggers: Take time to reflect on what causes emotional distress or makes you feel vulnerable. These are your stuck points, and identifying them is the first step toward healing.

• Seek deeper understanding of past trauma: Many people in recovery have unresolved traumas. Working through these issues with a therapist or support group can help you move beyond the stuck points they create.

• Develop better coping strategies: Learning healthier ways to deal with stress or emotional discomfort can help you break the cycle of using substances as an escape.

• Cultivate self-compassion: Instead of being harsh on yourself after a lapse, practice self-compassion. Understand that everyone has moments of struggle, and these moments can be opportunities to understand your core issues more clearly.

Lapse as a Part of Recovery

Lapses are not failures; they are signposts highlighting where your core issues and stuck points lie. About 40% to 60% of individuals experience a lapse or relapse during recovery. Recovery is not a linear process but a journey that often cycles through periods of success and moments of setback. The key is to use each setback as a learning opportunity to better understand and address your stuck points.

Substance use often serves as a way to avoid pain, discomfort, or unresolved feelings. As addiction develops, it rewires the brain, making it increasingly difficult to maintain sobriety. But this same neuroplasticity can also work in your favor: By addressing the underlying stuck points, you can retrain your brain and make lasting changes.

Help is Available

Getting past stuck points can be extremely difficult without help, but support is available. The Betterment Space understands the complexity of addiction and how core issues and unresolved pain can keep you feeling stuck. We are here to guide you through the process of addressing these deeper issues in your recovery journey. Wether that is through our group chatting forums, coaching and counseling sessions or an online program.

Our treatment program is an alternative to traditional rehab, focusing on helping you resolve the root causes of your substance use concern. Our approach empowers you to achieve life-changing sobriety in your own home and on your own schedule, while addressing the emotional and psychological stuck points that may be holding you back.

In as little as 4 weeks , you can begin to unlock the deeper issues keeping you trapped in the cycle of addiction and relearn the skills you need to live the life you deserve.

At The Betterment Space, you will receive:

• Flexible online participation that allows you to work through your recovery without disrupting your daily life.

• A comprehensive approach that gets to the heart of your stuck points, ensuring that you don’t just avoid lapses but resolve the underlying issues that may be causing them.

• support through forums and contours blog posts and resources to complete the work.